It’s 7:35am , I have managed to get dressed, do my hair and makeup, I’m about to walk out the door & then it erupts. Diaper change. I put my baby down and begin the peril of unfastening and fastening a diaper when I’m christened with a tiny little stream. Omg. From the smile on my baby’s face it’s like he knew that today was just going to be one of those days. There were more of those days even after I graduated high school.
Looking back I don’t know how I did it. I always get asked was it hard. Honestly, I don’t remember thinking of how difficult it was. I just knew that I had to do it, I wanted to do it. The bliss of being a young mom is that there was no time to worry or to overthink things. Life was happening at light speed and I just had to adapt. I had two small lives depending on me before the age of twenty. I was just getting shit done. So am I brave? I don’t know.
I think of brave as consciously standing up for the right thing when no one else really doesn’t. So I don’t know that I fit. For me, I just didn’t even consider any other option. I had my kids, I graduated high school, I put myself through college, I also have a professional license and now I am a small business owner. I say all this to say , I didn’t need to be brave. What got me through was love for someone other than myself. And when that wasn’t enough it was my stubbornness. My flawed thinking actually made me so determined to go after what I wanted. I think a lot of times we see people accomplish great things & think wow, I wish I could be like that. Truth is many times they didn’t realize that they were doing some magical thing. They were just tired of living a certain way & completely obsessed with overcoming a situation. Some of my greatest breakthroughs in life just came from me trying to find another way & being so damn stubborn.
Every now and then a helping hand or a major break is awesome. Like I really could have used a few to push my career or my life along. Simply put, no one showed up. In fact, not only did no one show up but a few people backed up. Lol. Talk about being alone on that one. So if I was going to do something I just had to do it myself . I learned that early in life that I couldn’t wait for anyone to do it with me or to save me. I’d rather have the experience of life than sit by and watch it go past. So I really don’t mind doing things alone.
Some people say you are going the wrong way, when it’s simply a way of your own .
You can get through any situation without being so brave, if you can become blindly obsessed with what you seek to do. Like having a baby in high school- sounds crazy. What sounded crazier at the time was my guidance counselor telling me “You can’t use the elevator ” as to entice me to transfer to an “easier” alternative school. Wtf, like who says that?! It just felt wrong. I was obsessed with becoming someone my kid could look up to. That’s what worked for me. Constantly, throughout my life I would ask myself what would my kids think. It pulled me back from many situations and to this day it’s why I strive so hard to become better.
Obsession can be a motivator too. I wasn’t fearful when it came to my kids. I was just obsessed. Find a way to become obsessed with what you want to do in life and how you want to do it. It will happen.